Los Angeles

Do you ever see something so beautiful that it makes you want to cry? Tears well up in your eyes and your whole body trembles a little bit? That is the ocean. That is the blue sky. That is the exhibit where the whole room vibrates with sound and movement and energy.

I don't love Los Angeles. I will never fall in love with Los Angeles. It is too much for me. Nothing connects to me. It is either too devastating, too scary and jarring or too fake. But my, it is so beautiful. I have never seen the blue in the sky bluer. I have never seen the sky vaster or more endless. Almost as if depth had changed in this part of the world. I don't know how depth can change like that, but it feels so immense to be there in the sun, in the blue. In the warmth. It shakes me. It shocks me. LA always feels like a dream to me. Moreso than any other place on Earth. I can't believe what exists. I am in awe. I am humbled. I am mystified. A place like no other.

It is the end of January and it is warm. We drive along in a convertible with the top down. Wind rushing through our hair. We eat fresh seafood beside the ocean. I dip my feet into the sand. I am walking without a jacket on the Venice Boardwalk. I have coffee outside. I take my time. There is an ease that only sunshine can bring. There is a look of ease that only exists after being lovingly embraced by sunshine.

Thank you, Los Angeles.

Hello, I'm 25

Leading up to my birthday, I felt a lot of emotions - mostly negative. A lot has happened in the past year and I'll be the first to admit that most of it was more than I can handle. So, it meant a lot to me when my friends showed up and celebrated me with me.

Film photos coming, but here are some phone photos.

Pictured above: Bennett, Terrence, Harlie, Jennifer, Mishi, Isabella and myself. 

And of course, a few missing but deserving acknowledgement goes to Katy, Tamar and Chloe.

April Moments

In the past year or two, I've noticed that I take fewer photos. Maybe it's that a lot of people in my life now don't know my affinity for still images. Maybe it's that I haven't felt much inspiration. I decided to gather some of the few photos I took on my phone during April - my last month of college.

Pictured above: Katy, Ellen, Sheila, and myself.

I Always Wanted A Fashion Blog

What's New?

1. My pseudo-relationship ended last Wednesday. It was an hour and a half of crying, silent begging and deep sadness. We both cried. I texted him after having one too many at an open bar event. He didn't respond. 
2. Ontario colleges are on strike. As I'm writing this, we're heading into the third week and I'm more than frustrated. 
3. I saw King Krule this past weekend by myself. I often forget how good it feels to be at concerts. It is one of the few places I think that we can still feel salvation. 
4. Work at the new location is good. It gets a little tedious, but it's good. The people are nice. The pace is easier. It's more relaxed. 
5. Winter is settling in. 

Letter 'E'

1. Ellen at 'Ease'
2. Eden at 'Early Bird'

Will and I at Niagara Falls

Photo Collage: July and August 2016

The last boy I dated

He doesn't live in the City anymore. We met in August of last summer, and this was a picture I took of him on one of our first dates. I don't have many photos of him, but this is my favourite photo of him. I think this was also one of my favourite dates with him. We just sat in the park and talked and made out. It was very easy then. Very simple, very sweet.

I used to say and I guess I still do, "It was good until it wasn't."

He started to get busy with work. I started to get anxious and lonely and desperate. I think he liked me, I know I liked him. We never got into a big fight, but we kept telling each other we were unhappy. I haven't seen him in maybe three months now. We stopped talking for a month or two. He moved away and I didn't even know. I've since told him how I was upset. He asked if it was too late to say sorry. We still joke around. We still text each other occasionally. I tell him I still miss him, and he still teases me the way he used to. But now he lives in a different city and we barely functioned when he lived ten minutes away.

It was good until it wasn't, but I still miss him.

Pictured above: Richard, and the sunset we missed that day.