The last boy I dated

He doesn't live in the City anymore. We met in August of last summer, and this was a picture I took of him on one of our first dates. I don't have many photos of him, but this is my favourite photo of him. I think this was also one of my favourite dates with him. We just sat in the park and talked and made out. It was very easy then. Very simple, very sweet.

I used to say and I guess I still do, "It was good until it wasn't."

He started to get busy with work. I started to get anxious and lonely and desperate. I think he liked me, I know I liked him. We never got into a big fight, but we kept telling each other we were unhappy. I haven't seen him in maybe three months now. We stopped talking for a month or two. He moved away and I didn't even know. I've since told him how I was upset. He asked if it was too late to say sorry. We still joke around. We still text each other occasionally. I tell him I still miss him, and he still teases me the way he used to. But now he lives in a different city and we barely functioned when he lived ten minutes away.

It was good until it wasn't, but I still miss him.

Pictured above: Richard, and the sunset we missed that day. 

A reflection

A few days ago, I share a beautiful sunset.

One of the things that has always fascinated me about life, is how quickly it can all change. We all make plans - plans for lunch tomorrow, plans to see a movie next week, whether or not to have kids or get married in the next five years. We make plans, but we don't know how quickly and easily things can change in a week. I think most of my big moments and important people have been found and discovered unexpectedly.

I think I saw it in a movie or read it in a book. The question was: have you ever met anyone and instantly thought that this person will change your life forever? I asked a couple of friends, some said they have, some said they haven't. I don't think I have met anyone and instantly thought this, but I have met people who have changed my life forever. I meet them unexpectedly.

I don't know if I have met anyone lately who will change my life indefinitely. I don't know if I ever know. Recently, I met someone who makes me happy, giddy. Four years ago, I met some girls who will come to see me grow, help me grow, inevitably be a part of the rest of my life - whether we remain part of each other's lives or not. During our time together, we laughed, we cried, we got angry and annoyed. Last summer, I met someone who helped me experience my world a little differently. We meet new people all the time. I always wonder who will change our lives a little bit, which moments will become imprinted in my heart long after the moment is gone.

Two months after I officially graduated and nearly four months after I finished my formal schooling, I am slowly finding my ground again. I feel a little less lost. I am meeting new people, finding new experiences in which I settle myself into. This summer, which comes to a close soon, has been strange and slow and I have been drifting. Yet they say that those who wander, are not all lost.

A few days ago, I share a sunset. We had not made plans before. It was just a casual mention over text messages that we were both free that evening. We are still walking when the circle sun disappears into the earth, but we sit and watch the fiery trail it leaves behind. It is not the most exciting sunset I've seen, but it is beautiful. I don't think the moments that define us always have to be loud. I think the moments that define us are often quiet, with a small wave or acknowledgement. Maybe this sunset was like this. Maybe not.

Human life is short, and it changes so quickly. Let's go watch the next sunset together.

May in Photographs

I haven't taken my camera out very often last month, but here are some photographs from May 2015:

Pictured in the above is: Adam.