The Book List of May

I have been so bad at keeping up with my reading. In the year of 2018 so far, I have finished one book. So in mid-May with no job opportunity in sight, I decided to make it a goal to read.

Here is the list:

• You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
• Hey Whipple, Squeeze This: The Classic Guide to Creating Great Ads by Luke Sullivan and Edward Boches
• How to Be an Artist Without Losing Your Mind, Your Shirt, or Your Creative Compass: A Practical Guide by JoAnneh Nagler
• The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

By the end of the month, I am happy to report that I've been quite successful. 

I have finished You Are A Badass and Hey Whipple. Both books I started while still in the school year, but I had trouble finding the motivation to read. I found the chance to sleep on the streetcar more enticing. There was also so much of me that was unhappy and unmotivated (more on that in a separate blog - maybe). 

1. You Are A Badass can be a powerful book, as all self-help books can be. It provides philosophical and practical ways to change our thinking about our lives; past, present and future. Whether you listen or not, is always up to the reader. I think the most important and hopefully, useful piece of her book is the suggestion that everything I want, everything I need, already exists in the Universe. I am already in that great, happy, most fulfilling and beautiful place in the world. I just haven't figured out how to get there yet. But if I believe in the beauty the Universe can provide (and does provide), the Universe will show me how to get that. That is some powerful stuff. I'm still working on putting my heart into it.
2. Hey Whipple is suggested reading from school. I really wish this was something I read prior to entering the program, or I didn't read it linearly. It's a great book. Parts of it get a little dry, but all in all, it's a great book. Luke Sullivan knows a lot about advertising. He writes about it in a way that's easy to understand, sometimes funny, and with a genuine passion for this industry. I'm feeling a little trapped and exhausted looking for internships, so this is the book I needed. For anyone looking to enter the ad industry, I recommend reading this book first. You get a canon of some of the best and most thoughtful ads from every single medium out there. I also recommend reading the last two chapters first. 

I've also finished The Goldfinch and enjoyed it a lot. Mentioned in another blog, but The Goldfinch was recommended to me by the guy I'm seeing right now. I told him that A Little Life was one of my favourite novels in the last few years. I loved the coming-of-age story of boys trapped in their youth and in their own personal disasters. While the experiences didn't resonate with me, there was a feeling that did. 

The Goldfinch shares similarities with A Little Life. It's a coming-of-age story told in so much depth and feeling. It's a story of a young boy, an experience I can only read about. It's a story of triumph just as it is a story of heartbreak. It is a story of all his struggles and the precarious way that struggle helps make our decisions. Living, we get thrown into all kinds of messiness that force us to age and to deal with things. I wouldn't say it's an uplifting story, but maybe an important one to read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would recommend it. 

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A Passage from The Goldfinch

Spencer recommended that I read The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt after I shared how much I loved A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. I've only begun to read it so I don't have much to say about this book yet, but here is a passage I feel deeply for.

Why did I obsess over people like this? Was it normal to fixate on strangers in this particular vivid, fevered way? I didn't think so. It was impossible to imagine some random passer-by on the street forming quite such an interest in me. And yet it was the main reason I'd gone in those houses with Tom: I was fascinated by strangers, wanted to know what food they ate and what dishes they ate it from, what movies they watched and what music they listened to, wanted to look under their beds and in their secret drawers and night tables and inside the pockets of their coats. Often I saw interesting-looking people on the street and thought about them restlessly for days, imagining their lives, making up stories about them on the subway or the crosstown bus. Years had passed, and I still hadn't stopped thinking about the dark-haired children in Catholic school uniforms - brother and sister - I'd seen in Grand Central, literally trying to pull their father out the door of a seedy bar by the sleeves of his suit jacket. Nor had I forgotten the frail, gypsyish girl in a wheelchair out in front of the Carlyle Hotel, talking breathlessly in Italian to the fluffy dog in her lap, while a sharp character in sunglasses (father? bodyguard?) stood behind her chair, apparently conducting some sort of business deal on his phone. For years, I'd turned those strangers over in my mind, wondering who they were and what their lives were like, and I knew I would go home and wonder about this girl and her grandfather the same way.

April Moments

In the past year or two, I've noticed that I take fewer photos. Maybe it's that a lot of people in my life now don't know my affinity for still images. Maybe it's that I haven't felt much inspiration. I decided to gather some of the few photos I took on my phone during April - my last month of college.

Pictured above: Katy, Ellen, Sheila, and myself.

Titled "Stolen Moments of Peace"

This is a photo from April 7, 2016. I'm not entirely sure if it has already been featured on this blog. I can tell you that the similarities between this photo two years ago and now are frighteningly similar. I still eat almond butter and banana on toast. I still have that MacBook Pro. I'm typing on it right now. I still use that NYX brush with another bottle of that NARS foundation. I still have that plastic tumbler from Starbucks and it's still what I use to drink water. I still use that coffee mug. We still have that plate.

It is alarming to me because I am frightened. I finished school last Friday. I'm looking for an internship right now. I've had two phone interviews and two in-person interviews. I walk away from every single one not knowing how I did. I tell the boy I am seeing that I do not think I make great first impressions. I'm not that charming. I think I am mostly shy and awkward around new people - but not in a cute Zooey Deschanel way. Just an awkward maybe-Aubrey Plaza way.

I'm worried that after a year of school, I am still not going to find a job. I am tired and so eager for a change of pace. I am ready for a change in my life. I want to try new things. I want new challenges. I have felt very stagnant the past three years since I finished my undergraduate degree. I'm concerned that I never feel confident after my interviews. I think I'm a hard worker and I become a very caring, sweet, considerate and friendly person. I'm worried that isn't capable of being shown in the little time interviews offer.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I am hoping for the best. I know I have people who believe in me. I know I have good work. It's just hard to convince myself not to be so scared. I emailed my professor after the interview a little freaked out. She replied, "Hang in there" and "If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be (for now)."

What will be, will be. 

(They are some differences. I no longer use that makeup bag. I don't use that Too Faced powder anymore. I killed that succulent. I don't know what happened to that plush. The snowglobe is put away somewhere. Same with the notepad. I have a different MetroPass.)

Convocation nearly three years ago, June 2015

April Favourites

Lululemon's April Fools prank - Everything I do now is a little ad related. It's a lot of where my focus is. It takes up a lot of time, and it's not time condensed to a few hours but all over the place. So, I was excited about the branded April Fools stuff. I love Lululemon as a brand so I may be biased about this. Lululemon's April Fools prank was an AI device similar to Google Home (and others) called Om. It spoke to the me who loves yoga and aspires to meditation and whole living.

(All the best 2018 pranks found here.)

The dark chocolate walnut cookie at Dark Horse - I have always said that I am not a fan of chocolate flavoured pastries or confections. I don't like chocolate cake. I don't like pain au chocolat (read: chocolate croissants). This cookie has changed my mind. It is the perfect amount of crunchy and oozing melty chocolate chunks. The dark chocolate stops it from becoming too sweet, but it still tastes rich. The walnuts are a nice touch. They are part of that crunch but doesn't add or distract from the overall flavour. This is not a dry cookie. It also looks so interesting. It looks almost like a scone at first glance. I really enjoyed it. (Yes, I know this is a lot to look into a cookie but that's just how much I enjoyed it.)

Hey Whipple, Squeeze This: The Classic Guide to Creating Great Ads by Luke Sullivan & Edward Boches - This is not my favourite book. I find parts of the book rather dull. Having said that, I think this is an important and useful book to read for my advertising career.

Dark House Cafe at Spadina - Dare I say that this is my new go-to coffee shop. I no longer go to Early Bird because of their focus on food over coffee now. Dark Horse on Spadina has been my go-to recently because of the big work tables and big open windows. The atmosphere is great. I think because of where it is and how space is laid out, it encourages more of a work environment than a social one. This has been part of my April routine.