Titled "Stolen Moments of Peace"

This is a photo from April 7, 2016. I'm not entirely sure if it has already been featured on this blog. I can tell you that the similarities between this photo two years ago and now are frighteningly similar. I still eat almond butter and banana on toast. I still have that MacBook Pro. I'm typing on it right now. I still use that NYX brush with another bottle of that NARS foundation. I still have that plastic tumbler from Starbucks and it's still what I use to drink water. I still use that coffee mug. We still have that plate.

It is alarming to me because I am frightened. I finished school last Friday. I'm looking for an internship right now. I've had two phone interviews and two in-person interviews. I walk away from every single one not knowing how I did. I tell the boy I am seeing that I do not think I make great first impressions. I'm not that charming. I think I am mostly shy and awkward around new people - but not in a cute Zooey Deschanel way. Just an awkward maybe-Aubrey Plaza way.

I'm worried that after a year of school, I am still not going to find a job. I am tired and so eager for a change of pace. I am ready for a change in my life. I want to try new things. I want new challenges. I have felt very stagnant the past three years since I finished my undergraduate degree. I'm concerned that I never feel confident after my interviews. I think I'm a hard worker and I become a very caring, sweet, considerate and friendly person. I'm worried that isn't capable of being shown in the little time interviews offer.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I am hoping for the best. I know I have people who believe in me. I know I have good work. It's just hard to convince myself not to be so scared. I emailed my professor after the interview a little freaked out. She replied, "Hang in there" and "If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be (for now)."

What will be, will be. 

(They are some differences. I no longer use that makeup bag. I don't use that Too Faced powder anymore. I killed that succulent. I don't know what happened to that plush. The snowglobe is put away somewhere. Same with the notepad. I have a different MetroPass.)

Convocation nearly three years ago, June 2015