Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Me


There is so little you know about me, about my life. 

You see the projections, the stories, the carefully crafted persona. The fun. The highlights. Bright smile, fabulous lifestyle. All that time she spends in coffee shops, in galleries, in nice restaurants, shopping, lounging.

Is reality still reality when so much of it becomes curated?

Things are not easy. Life is complicated. Sometimes it becomes almost too complicated. Every story has bad, unhappy, exhausting, irritating details. This is a detail from today, May 30th.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Safe Spaces

I hope you don't try coming and looking for me. 

Years ago, I read somewhere about the need for safe spaces. A place where we could feel safe, feel calm, feel ourselves. Feel at peace, find peace again. It can be anywhere. It doesn't have to be a special or profound space. It is just where you feel safe, comfortable, relaxed. At ease. Years ago, one of my safe spaces was a two-story Chapters flagship underneath a movie theatre. There doesn't have to be a reason why this is a safe space. Maybe there is, but the important part is that it is simply a safe space.

Early Bird Cafe - A close-by cafe that over the years, has become something of a second home. In the last couple years, I've been branching out to other neighbouring cafes because Early Bird has gotten so crowded as it's become more popular. This space is still a home though. It is where I always come back to when I'm not feeling my happiest, not feeling my brightest. It is the familiar espresso bar, the hug of the warm latté against the back of my throat, the same wooden tables and old school chairs. The neon glow of the Early Bird sign. The hints of greenery. The faces of the baristas. It is somewhere to disappear with a book or my journal, and disappear for hours at a time.

The yoga studio - A new safe space for me. I have been practising yoga on and off for just over two years now. If we counted up the months where I practice a little more consistently, I think it is closer to a year or a year and a half. I prefer group practices. I like the voice of the teacher guiding us, I like the unified movement of everyone in the room. I like the music. I like the light. The motivation of everyone trying, everyone moving around me. I choose a different practice based on what my body needs at the time. It always helps though. It is a space away from my phone, away and separate from my place in the world. From my responsibilities, from my insecurities and inconsistencies. From the things that make me feel any sort of way - mad, or sad, or overjoyed. It is a blank slate. It is bringing myself back to my body. Back to myself. The practice of yoga has really helped ground me over these past two years of on-and-off practice. I think I really found something that has the potential to be part of the rest of my life.

Trinity Bellwoods - There's one spot that you will find me more often than not at the park. The open space, nature, the sun or setting sun, the dogs... This space speaks for itself.

Gallery hopping - While this isn't a specific space, it is a very specific practice. Art is where I have always sought comfort, always found intrigue and an openness. It is where I am most curious, but also where I am most comfortable with questions unanswered. It is very calming for me. Gallery spaces, in general, also tend to be quiet and not very busy. They're nice to sit, enjoy some art and relax. And gallery hopping is a way of losing hours to this practice.


These are my places. If I'm anxious, sad, upset, afraid, angry, or maybe just in need of somewhere to process, you'll likely find me here. Although as the prefix says and the point of safe spaces denote, don't come find me. I encourage you to find your own safe spaces though. Find somewhere that lets you come home to yourself again. Find somewhere to keep quiet and find some peace of mind.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Eden's Birthday




Pictured above: Nasra, Maya, Eric, Eden, Anwar, Ryan, John, Cody and Holly.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

April Favourites

MALLGRAB - I've never been to anything like this before. It's not really my scene, but my friend Ben asked and I thought, 'Why not?' There's always an extra story. I had so much fun. MALLGRAB is an Australian DJ and this was his first time in Canada, possibly North America. We got there around 11PM and we danced till the event ended around 4AM. It truly was something special. I still remember pausing to stand in the crowd and feeling mesmerised. I don't know how many people would agree with me, but I think music - live music - is the last place for salvation. It is the last place to experience true transcendence.



Pictured above: Ben, Sam and myself.

Scaddabush's Shrimp Spaghetti - We came here to celebrate my old roommate, Evasha's birthday. Scaddabush makes their pasta in-house, and you can taste the difference. Now that sounds cheesy, but the spaghetti was soft, chewy and very delicious. The portion of the spaghetti was also very generous. It was all very delicious, even when I reheated it at home. Actually, I've been craving it since. 

Buck-a-shuck at Chantecler 

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg - I am not done with this yet, but I've found it really illuminating so far. Duhigg highlights the habit loop and how this simple loop dominates all our behaviour and many of what we believe to be our 'decisions'. It is obvious that there is a lot of research behind the book, but he also writes including lots of anecdotes and stories, making it more accessible and interesting. I am hoping to change some habits, and he writes saying that the first step is to recognise our habits.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

An excerpt from The Power of Habit

Small wins are exactly what they sound like, and are part of how keystone habits create widespread changes. A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, an influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves. "Small wins are a steady application of a small advantage," one Cornell professor wrote in 1984. "Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win." Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach. 
By Charles Duhigg, p. 112