July Favourites

Tattoo by Jennifer Lawes - My tattoo appointment was on June 30th, but I would say this is more of a July favourite. Jennifer did an amazing job on my sparrow. It was a cover-up for my second tattoo-gone-rogue. Far less delicate than my first tattoo, it's a beauty and I'm in love.

Tommy in Montreal - On the third weekend of July, I was in Montreal with two of my old roommates. On the last day, we still hadn't visited a café and it's usually a goal of mine to try out the coffee wherever I visit. Tommy did not disappoint. The café is beautiful, so lovely. The shop design is so thoughtful and whimsical. The shop paired with its location in Old Port, it feels like a space from a different time period. Beautiful, highly recommend.

Kampai in Montreal - An Asian inspired tapas bar with to-share pitchers. Another space is thoughtfully designed, a lot of creativity in its aesthetic and feel. This was a very hip spot. When we left the place around 9PM, there was a line of well-dressed folk waiting to get in. We sat on the terrasse and didn't see much of the busier bar scene, but it looked like it was going to get loud.

Birkenstock Arizonas in white - There has been a lot of travelling this month and a lot of moving around. A lot of walking. While I'm used to walking, I find that the amount of walking and being on my feet that happen during my trips gets very harsh for my feet. The support and airiness provided by my Birks is a true saviour.

Bullet Journal - Another mention of my bullet journal. I think this has already made it on a 'favourites' list, but with the amount of travelling I've been doing, my bullet journal has helped so much. It is supposed to be a spot to dump everything, and it is. This bright blue book contains my travel details, plans for each city, my month overview, week overview, day-to-day tasks and activities. It is what I use on vacation in lieu of bringing my Moleskine with me too. Because the pages are numbered, it is so easy to use and navigate.

Vancouver - There is so much to say about Vancouver, about this trip. I think it is everything I needed, everywhere I needed to be. This trip offered such beauty, such a force for creativity (toward creativity). It offered such peace. Often I find my version of vacationing to be more of exploring, which gets so tiring when you're trying to put so much of a city into a few days. A week. This trip was a good balance between seeing new things, exploring new spaces and moods, but still relaxing and finding a kind of soothing. I cannot say enough good things about my trip. I think I fell in love with Vancouver.

Wreck Beach in Vancouver - I don't have many photos of this space. Hardly any at all given that it's a nude beach, and I imagine not many people may be open to being photographed. It is a stunning place to be. The water meets sand, meets trees, meets mountains off the horizon. The beach is also sparsely covered with long logs that create a kind of partition between groups of beachgoers. My friend tells me that this is a part that doesn't quite feel like Vancouver. Down the long stairwell, it feels something like Alice going down the rabbit hole and into a different dimension. Of course, it should also go without saying how wonderful it is to be on a nude beach again.

Weekender III

I visited Montreal this past weekend with my former roommates Mishi and Evasha. We stayed at a hotel by Saint-Laurent station. We were there for three days and two nights. Took the bus there.

Here was what I packed:

• Leuchtturm Bullet Journal, with a Muji 0.38mm pen
• Ness Lee 'Body Party' tote bag
• Wilfrid tapestry clutch
• Makeup bag 
• Toiletries, including my electric toothbrush
• Tylenol
• Other medicine
• Zara black pleather jacket
• Low cut white Converses
• Steve Madden black mule sandals 
• Vagabond Emira boots
• iPhone 6, with earphones and charger
• Zara striped navy culottes 
• PJ shorts
• Mustard Stussy Toronto t-shirt
• Floral halter top from Urban Outfitters
• Vintage Levi shorts
• Cheap Monday black skinnies
• Haider Ackermann black tank top
• Talula Primrose skirt in Chalet
• Daniel Wellington watch
• Panasonic Lumix GF3
• Konica Z-up 60, with extra rolls of film
• Allsaints wallet
• First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream
• Shea butter
• Bras that I never wore
• Socks

David A. Balfour Park

Bad Feminist

I went on a date with a guy. I confessed that in a few of my past dates, it never made it past the first date. I told him I thought it was because I discussed politics. He told me the guys probably thought I was too intense. I was too much work. I told him that these things - politics, feminism, society - were all important things to me, and part of who I am. This guy told me later that night that he didn’t think things would work out between us.

I am finishing Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay. Here are some quotes I found interesting. Really hit home.

• “This is what is so rarely said about unlikeable women in fiction - that they aren’t pretending, that they won’t or can’t pretend to be someone they are not. They have neither the energy for it nor the desire. They don’t have the willingness of a May Welland to play the part demanded of her. In Gone Girl, Amy talks about the temptation of being the woman a man wants, but ultimately she doesn’t give in to the temptation to be ‘the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain.’ Unlikeable women refuse to give in to that temptation. They are, instead, themselves. They accept the consequences of their choices, and those consequences become stories worth reading” (p. 95).
• “The solutions are obvious. Stop making excuses. Stop saying women run publishing. Stop justifying the lack of parity in prominent publications that have the resources to address gender inequality. Stop parroting the weak notion that you’re simply publishing the best writing, regardless. There is ample evidence of the excellence of women writers. Publish more women writers. If women aren’t submitting to your publication or press, ask yourself why, deal with the answers even if those answers make you uncomfortable, and then reach out to women writers. If women don’t respond to your solicitations, go find other women. Keep doing that, issue after issue after issue. Read more widely. Create more inclusive measures of excellence. Ensure that books by men and women are being reviewed in equal numbers. Nominate more deserving women for the important awards. Deal with your resentment. Deal with your biases. Vigorously resist the urge to dismiss the gender problem. Make the effort and make the effort and make the effort until you no longer need to, until we don’t need to keep having this conversation” (pp. 171-172).
• “The right way to be a woman is to be thin, to wear makeup, to wear the right kind of clothes (not too slutty, not too prudish - show a little leg, ladies), and so on. Good women are charming, polite, and unobtrusive. Good women work but are content to earn 77 percent of what men earn or, depending on whom you ask, good women bear children and stay home to raise those children without complaint. Good women are modest, chaste, pious, submissive. Women who don’t adhere to these standards are the fallen, the undesirable; they are bad women” (p. 304).

I am a feminist. I have never considered myself to be a good feminist or a bad feminist, although after reading this book and following in her line of thought, I am like Roxane Gay, a bad feminist. I revel in the fact.

In a third year feminist philosophy class, it was the first time I’ve heard of the time “feminisms”. I had considered and claimed myself to be a feminist since some time in high school. Anywhere from grade 10 to 12, with the force growing stronger as the years went on and my knowledge and experience grew. Yet it was only in a third-year feminist philosophy class with maybe 16 people that I learned feminism can be nuanced and different. There can be difference within feminism. White, rich, heteronormative feminism (”essentialist feminism”) is not the only brand of feminism. I was flabbergasted.

I am a feminist. I am a bad feminist. I am a mess of contradictions, and I dare you to tell me I am anything but exceptional for it.

I am. The last line of the book is: I am a bad feminist. I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.