Mid-February Favourites

I really enjoy the idea of having monthly "favourites," but somewhere between the good intentions at the beginning of the month and the end of the month, the list is lost somewhere and it is never finished or thought of again. So, here is my list of favourites even though there is something like 11 days left of February.

Let's go.

Jade succulent ($7) from Dynasty Toronto - I want to start getting more into plants. I feel like this is a super white-new age-hipster-hippie thing to say, but I don't care. It's a proven fact that plants can make you feel happier or calmer, or whatever the proven fact is. The greenery is nice. Seeing life around you is nice. Plus, Dynasty is a super cute shop and visiting it is just precious.

My new glasses. 

The process of journaling - So I have a small collection of personal journals. They're stacked on top of my wall shelf unit. There's six in total. 5 black Moleskine journals, and a white one that I bought from Chapters when I was 13. I'm on my sixth black Moleskine journal. Journaling is an off-and-on thing for me. I always have a journal (it acts more like a scrapbook), but I don't always write or draw or collage into it. Lately, I've been really trying to get back into my journal though. Most recently, it's a lot of drawing.

Ikea's Valje wall cabinets in white. 

Hot water bottle. 

Winter outfit combination - Jeans, winter wool socks, Blundstone lookalikes from Doc Martens, oversized peppery light grey wool coat from Forever 21, giant Wilfred scarf, some kind of turtleneck sweater, black bag.

Nivea hand cream - My cold broken hands need constant relief from hand cream.

Nude Update

Today is February 1, 2016, and this is how I look naked.

I'm not sure how many people know I do this, but if you ever find my Macbook in the wild and you choose to open the Photobooth application, you will be overrun by nude photos of myself. Surprise.

I've been taking nude portraits of myself for years now. I think when I was 17, they were partially nude or pictures with the bra and underwear still on but the exercise of photographing myself in minimal clothing has always been something I did. You can call this habit any number of things- jailbait, scandalous, slutty, stupid, attention seeking, ego boosting. I don't really care.

If we've dated, I've probably texted you nude photos. If we've lived together, you've probably seen me walking around with my bum hanging out. If you've come over and I'm still asleep, you'll probably find me nude in bed. The first time one of my old roommates' mom saw me, she asked my roommate if I ever wore clothes.

The nude body has always been something of interest- the way that you see people and their lumps and bumps, caves and cervices; the way your partner walks naked across the room; the vulnerability and bravery that a nude body can expose; the parts of themselves someone may expose or hide when they first strip down. Away from the eroticism that we typically associate with nudity, the nude body is so gentle. Skin and the way that it reflects light and darkness, is so gentle. It's vulnerable, and this is so beautiful and soothing.

I don't typically associate the nude with eroticism. Maybe I've become desensitized to it, having watched too much pornography or been on Tumblr far too long. Can I blame it on being too involved in art?

For myself, I record myself nude periodically. I photograph myself nude. They're not amazing photographs- usually terrible ones on my Macbook webcam or poorly angled ones on my digital camera. Once a year on my birthday, I take a nude selfie with an instant camera, tape that into my journal. I do it to remember where I was, where I want to be. I do it to learn to become more comfortable in my own skin, and to discover how I'm not. I do it to accept who we are as human- imperfect, vulnerable, soft, riddled with insecurities and complications. I do it to pick apart my body and what I don't like, but to see how far I've come. I do it to find home again in my body, to find confidence and security in the way my hair falls, the way my boobs lay, the way my stomach rounds and my bum scoops. I think this practice is therapeutic. I think it's important.

I haven't been photographing myself as often. I'm not dating anyone. I'm so busy with work, I haven't had the opportunity to practice yoga, to move my body and feel the same confidence as when I'm active. I haven't felt very creative or motivated.

This is a restart. It is February 1, 2016, and I am naked in bed writing this. It is time to take stock of where I am, where I'm going, and where I want to go. I want to be with my body again, be with my mind and creativity. I want to cleanse, to start with the clean, gentle, soft nude body. This is my body and this is my mind and soul. I am going to find home in it again and again. It is February and it is time to take stock of everything, to cleanse everything.

Fall - Winter 2015

Pictured above: Rachel, Scott, Lucia, Jennifer, Peter, Alanah, Sierra, Sophia, Mugaya, and Devonte.

Outgoing and Incoming

Here is a collage of some of my favourite things and people in 2015.

 

And here are my resolutions for 2016:

1. Start a 'peaks and valleys' practice for each day.
2. Practice yoga more consistently.
3. Learn to be more patient. Continue to learning kindness.
4. Continue my creative endeavours.
5. Travel.
6. Surround myself with The Good People.
7. Save more.
8. Minimize my life.
9. Meet people. Be honest with them.

Included in the above are photos from the past year. Mishi, Griffin, Sarah, Charlotte, Evasha, Devonte, Nefisa, Sierra and myself are all pictured. Other things pictured are: a sunset from my favourite park, my alma mater, our 247 house, and another sunset from the balcony of my brief May fling.