My friend, Henrieta's tips to deal

1. Men need to show the fuck up.
2. The ideas of 'crazy' and 'just in my head' are bullshit.
3. Listen to your body and to your emotions.
4. You deserve to spend your valuable time with people who do not exacerbate your anxiety (fuck that shit).
5. You're not unreasonable. You are a rational and compromising person.
6. Beyond thinking if you're good enough for others, think about whether or not they're good enough for you. 
7. You will stop apologizing for being a full human, a full dynamic human. That means there are good and bad parts, including the parts you're trying to build. 
8. For anyone to only expect your good parts and fuck off when shit gets real, can fuck off. 
9. You are loved. You deserve love. 
10. EXPECT MORE. 

To stay grounded

• Can you list 5 things you see in your current setting?
• Can you list 5 things you hear in your current setting? 
• Can you list 5 things you feel in your current setting? 

Repeat with 3 things.
Repeat with 1 thing.

Advice for Someone Else

In no particular order:

1. Be subtle, be understated.
2. Don't be afraid of filth. 
3. Sleep naked.
4. Appreciate everything, all the time. 
5. When someone asks you what they should do, say, "Be happy. Do happy."
6. Enjoy the good things in life, but don't be too full. 
7. Enjoy sex. Don't be afraid of it. 
8. Stop letting people who are not good for you, hurt you. 
9. Dress down. 
10. Always see the world as the child at play.
11. Eat less salt. It bloats you, and too much ruins the flavour of food. 
12. Accept the fluctuation in life. 
13. Be nice to your mother. 
14. Good manners, in general, are important.
15. Remember your imagination. 
16. Drink lots of water.
17. Legs up the wall can be calming. Yoga is good for balance. 
18. The sun makes you happy. 
19. Always say thank you. 
20. The world owes you nothing. 
21. Eat your greens. Appreciate the way fresh greens taste.
22. Nothing is permanent. See beauty in this. 

Valuable Advice

Tonight, I was hanging out with my friend Stephen.

Stephen at an art exhibit, Toronto, December 2014

Stephen works as a Corporate Man, but more than that, he runs Lex Magazine and he is in the process of making a documentary on homelessness in Ottawa, Canada. He also seems to do a bunch of other things on the side. He's a busy guy. Still more than all of that, Stephen is a good friend and I can normally trust his advice. 

Stephen is older - about 10 years older to be more specific. He has a real Corporate job, a nice car and expensive hobbies that he can actually afford to finance. I met Stephen through a friend. Over the three years I've known this typically bearded man, I've gone to him for advice and harsh realities time and time again. He's that kind of guy. 

Today we walked around downtown Toronto, took some photos, sat on some fake grass. It was a relaxing evening. The weather was lovely - warm with a cool breeze. We searched for outdoor sculptures and good light. Stephen kept commenting on how everyone in Toronto was beautiful. We made some jokes, but mostly I was quiet. I had mentioned to Stephen before that I had been struggling lately. Post-university life has been confusing and I have been feeling very lost. So, it was that kind of quiet evening. It was nice though. 

Upon departing, I asked Stephen what he did between high school and higher education, and then between higher education and his career today. He reassured me that it was normal to feel a little lost, the job market was very competitive, and job searching could be hard. However, the best thing he said to me tonight was as follows (well, paraphrasing), 

You have to treat your job search like a real job. From 9 to 5, your job is to find a job. It's going to be hard, but that's what you're going to need to do. 

So there you have it, from the man himself.