To My Best Friend

I've known my best friend for 21 and a half years. For almost as long as I've been alive, she has been a part of my life. We have the sort of best-friendship that they base Disney Channel TV shows on. We text a lot; every day. We talk about everything. We share opinions about boys, food, clothes, makeup, culture, politics, people we dislike, people we somewhat like, school, art, pop culture, dating, TV shows, movies, white people, etc. I don't think we've ever gotten into a fight. She has been my constant since day 1 (of her life).

This afternoon, we're having a conversation. Texting back and forth, trying to make plans to see a movie later this week. She shares an article about Chinese bottle ladies in Toronto. We start talking about culture, and how we deal with our culture as second generation Chinese immigrants. We talk about the way we negotiate race and culture. I tell her one of the things I'm scared and ashamed of is eventually losing my culture when my parents are gone. My first generation immigrant parents have worked so hard to raise me in the best possible circumstances. Yet the reality is that my current situation moves further and further away from my parents and the culture they grew up in, and the culture they brought me up in. I'm afraid that without my parents, I won't keep up with the festivals and I won't know how to make any of the foods. I can already see how I might lose the language. As I'm expressing these concerns, Ellen tells me, "We could do it together. Between the both of us, I'm sure we can still do stuff." We could try to remember, maintain our culture and traditions together.

I know we've talked about this before. On my birthday, she sends me a long essay over text about this. It kind of clicked for me then. Our friendship has a longevity and truthfulness that is almost strange. I don't think it's particularly easy to maintain, although it has been for us. Our friendship has always been such a natural and unquestionable part of my life. Undeniable. I'm so glad for that.

Our conversation today reinforced how happy I am about our friendship. How happy I am to have her as part of my life, as a constant in my life. I am so happy and relieved to have someone who I can share growing up with, to share growing old with. I am relieved because our friendship means that I will never have to be alone when dealing with... Anything, really. There will always be someone to explore and examine the world with me. Whether it was when we were kids holding paper lanterns underneath a full moon, or today when we are almost adults discussing how difficult maintaining that cultural aspect may become. I have someone who will always be there to figure that stuff out with. I have someone who will always be there to listen.  To celebrate success with, to ponder confusion and sadness and anger with. I have someone who will always be in my corner as we're doing all that. And that? That's amazing. That's so lucky. I'm so fortunate. We're so fortunate. 

My best friend is great.