Moleskine 2

March 2015

Accident Prone

I fell.

I slipped down some stairs at my friend's apartment building and got a nasty cut on my right hand and these ugly bruises on my knees. I sat stunned on the ground for a few minutes. These two guys smoking outside kept asking if I was OK. I didn't cry. I picked myself and my bloody knees and hand up, and got my friend who was waiting around the corner to be let in.

We went back upstairs to my friend's apartment. She saw me and joked, "I leave you alone for two minutes."

Such is the life of someone clumsy.

Weekender

I will be visiting Kingston this weekend because my friend Griffin is driving up to see his girlfriend. I will be staying with my friend Sarah. I will be seeing some of my old professors and some old friends and old roommates.

I will be bringing with me: 

• Muji pencil case with one HB pencil, one eraser, one pink highlighter, 4 pens
• Macbook Pro with charger
• iPhone 6 with charger and accessories 
• Kodak disposable camera with flash
• Moleskine journal #5
• Tylenol  
• DivaCup
• Sun screen
• Toiletries
• Batiste dry shampoo
• Pond's make up wipes 
• Makeup bag
• Marc Jacobs wallet
• Undergarments
• Wilfred turtleneck sweater
• Lululemon black Flow bra
• Wilfred grey tank top
• Zara black long sleeve linen shirt  
• BDG green and blue flannel
• Silence + Noise grey tank dress
• Nasty Gal black back cut out bodycon dress
• La Notte "Total Slob" t-shirt
• Silence + Noise camouflage shorts
• Gap denim shorts
• BDG black skinny jeans
• Lululemon leggings
• Wilfred cream blanket scarf
• Zara pleather moto jacket
• Zara 3.5" black heeled booties
• Converse white low sneakers
• Fjallraven Kanken bag
• Small brown side bag 

Part of an ongoing floral series

Watercolour and magazine cut out, May 2015 

Casa, part II

In Memory Of, part II

Yesterday was move in day at Queen's University. Four years ago, my parents drove three hours from Toronto to Kingston to help me do the same day. This September is the first I won't be returning to Queen's. This year is the first year since maybe when I was three years old that I won't be returning to school. It's a strange feeling. I catch myself missing school - and not just seeing my friends, but also the education and learning aspects of it. 

I was going through old photos from my first year. I looked different, we all did. I believed in different things and I made decisions in a different way. I knew less, but maybe in some ways, I also knew more. There was more innocence, more naiveté, and more willingness to do the stupid things that only come from seemingly boundless naiveté. 

My first year at Queen's was marked by my first time living separate from my parents, first time getting drunk, first time puking from drinking so much, first hangover, first binge drinking challenges, first time wandering the streets tipsy and falling with my friends but so happy, first time getting decked out for St. Patrick's, first time day drinking, first time clubbing. It was also marked by my first time pulling an all-nighter to finish papers, my first time drinking energy drinks, my first time falling asleep in lecture halls. It was marked by the first time I stayed up till 3 or 4 in the morning talking to some of my best friends. The first time I woke up for a sunrise, the first time I stayed up all night and saw the sun rise between my books. There were so many other firsts. I probably couldn't pick out all of them. It would take up too much of your time, dear reader.

These last four years have changed who I am indefinitely. Going to Queen's was stepping out of my comfort zone, and it was so entirely worth it. 

If I could tell someone just stepping into their first year, this is what I would say:

Challenge yourself, talk to new people, get drunk, get stupid, get uncomfortable, laugh, go watch the sunrise. Work hard, study, embrace the new concepts you are going to learn, be critical, ask questions, discuss the things you are learning, listen to people talk about things you don't understand, always be curious (about everything), ask questions. Accept education as a gift, accept the new people around you and their curiosity as a gift, accept this part of your life as a gift. Accept change. Have fun. Remember to laugh, but it's OK to cry. 

I'm surprised at how quickly four years have gone by. Some days, I wake up feeling like I am still in the top bunk of my metal frame bunk bed, a little hungover and confused by what happened last night. I swear I can still remember what it was like to be 17 and 18 in my first year of university. I remember the air smacked out of my chest when I drove into the ground for the slip-and-slide during Frosh Olympics. I remember the shaving cream and being told to "sizzle like bacon". I remember the plasticky pizza in Leonard cafeteria and the long line for noodles in Ban Righ cafeteria. I remember sitting in the Victoria Hall common room at 5AM, trying to craft a politics paper. I still remember all of these things as if it was a few days ago, but now I have a BAH in Political Studies with a minor in Philosophy from Queen's University. 

Included in the above are photos from my first year at Queen's University, including pictures with two of my best friends and my orientation ("frosh") group.