By Lucia Berlin

From A Manuel For Cleaning Women, p. 260:

Actually, love is not a mystery for me anymore. Max calls and says hello. I tell him that my sister will be dead soon. How are you? he asks. 

Seeking Comfort for Hopelessness

What do you do?

Sleep, crying and crying until I fall asleep, something sweet - not a lot but a favourite candy or two, watching my favourite TV series that I've seen dozens of times over. Hot shower, hot tea. Calling my mom or my best friend just to listen to them talk about random things. Drawing or anything that makes you really really focus. I also like just being around friends and listening to them talk. I don't participate much in the conversation but sitting there and listening to the voices and their stories make me feel much less alone. It's distracting and calming. Comfort for me, tends to be warm and with people who can provide distractions. But at the same time, there are times when I think wallowing can feel really good and therapeutic. Take it easy on yourself. Ultimately, be kind to yourself.

On 35mm Film

Here are some of my memories photographed: 

This year has been a strange one. It was rediscovering routine. It was trying to find a place for myself when I never felt like I belonged anywhere. It was trying to place myself in the present moment, to ground myself where I otherwise might drift away. I think it was trying to reaffirm myself in the world. That can be a strange process.

This year had some bad. It had a lot of good. Most of the good was in the people I met and developed better bonds with. It was a lot of trying to better integrate people I really liked in my life. I enjoyed that a lot about this past year. I did some good for myself this year. I kept up with a practice that makes my body feel good, and helps my mind learn perspective. I think this year was a helpful year. It helped to create and solidify a lot of the basics that I had forgotten, that I had lost. It was a time to readjust my body and my perspective.

I wonder what this year will bring. 2017. My twenty-third turn around the Sun, twenty-three years of this Earth and its people. I wonder what kind of memories will define this coming year. To continue to be kind, to continue to learn patience. All of that.

Writing Prompt

1. What's one thing that's happened to you that has made you a stronger person? 
2. What's one thing that's happened to you in your life that made you feel weak? 
3. Where is one place you feel most like yourself?
4. Where is your favourite place to escape to? 
5. Who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today?
6. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? 
7. If you had one day left to live, what would you do first?
8. What decade do you feel you most belong in?
9. Who are you closest to in your family? Why?
10. Who is the one person in this world that knows you best?
11. What is your favourite quality about your best friend?
12. When you were younger what did you think you were going to be when you grow up? 
13. If you could identify with one fictional character (from a book, show, or movie) who would it be?
14. Do you easily accept compliments? Or do you hate compliments?
15. Is your favourite attribute about yourself physical or non-physical? 
16. What is your favourite physical attribute about yourself?
17. What is your favourite non-physical attribute about yourself?
18. Do you believe in love at first sight?
19. Do you believe in soulmates?
20. How seriously do you take horoscopes?
21. Have you ever been in love? How many times?
22. What makes you fall in love with someone?
23. What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable?
24. What's one thing you're scared to ask a man, but really want to?
25. If you were a man for a day, what would be the first thing you do?
26. What do you find most attractive about each sex?
27. What's one thing you'd love to learn more about?
28. What is something you've never done that you've always wanted to do?
29. Why haven't you done it yet?
30. If money didn't matter, what would your dream job be?
31. If you had today off from work, what would you do?
32. What was the last thing that made you cry?
33. What was the last thing that made you laugh? 
34. What is your favourite memory?
35. What's the last thing that really embarrassed you?
36. What is your biggest fear?
37. Do you have any regrets? What's your biggest one?
38. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
39. Would you have a conversation with a stranger?
40. What's your favourite joke?
41. If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?
42. How do you think your parents would describe you as a child?
43. If you could go back to any age or time of your life, what age or time would it be?
44. What's something you believe in that not everyone else does? 
45. What's one thing you would say that makes you unique from other people?
46. What is one thing you feel your life is missing?