Date no. 9

I'm smitten and I think it shows. I think it is very obvious and I have made no attempts to hide it. I'm smitten and then I have to admit that for the first time in a while, I am happy.

Mom, don't worry about me. I think I'm finally figuring things out. I'm finding my way. 

Yesterday, he wrote an important exam. I could tell he was tired when I asked him to hang out with me at the park. He looked so sleepy. We laid in the park, basked in the last of summer's sunshine. He told me that he was glad he came out even though he was tired. It was a beautiful day - one worthy of being celebrated.

I appreciate that he is someone who will say yes to me, who will say yes to my whims. This need of mine to be outside and to do things, to never feel trapped. He is someone who will say yes when he starts to see the ways I falter, my inconsistencies, and the way I am stubborn. I appreciate that he is so different from me in this way. Kinder than me, more patient than me, likely more forgiving than me. He is far warmer than what I'm used to dating.

Yesterday, we sat at the park for about an hour, maybe a little more. We spent the time trading more stories, more experiences. I was reminded the way that dating is the way we fill each other in on the details of our lives. He told me the time he drank the Sourtoe Cocktail. He told me the time and the way his grandpa admitted to smoking marijuana. I told him about my dad's reaction to the legalization of marijuana. We talked about the way that Ontario will roll out its own legalization process. I showed him some of the thumbnails I was working on. We were laying in the grass. I was rolling around. I felt really happy; it felt light. After about an hour, I recommended Hanmoto for dinner. A Japanese bar with tapas-style food. We had to wait, but he really enjoyed the spot. We each got cocktails, split the food. If I'm honest, when I say I'm smitten, I like just spending time with him. I move outside of myself and I realize I like just sitting across him, waiting for our food. I like watching him. I like these moments. I'm very smitten. After dinner, we migrated to his place. We chatted with his roommate. I appreciate the way he introduces me to the different parts of his life - the parts of life that build a real person, a real existence. We spent the evening watching Twin Peaks, cuddling and making out. I went home at the end of the night, but I didn't really want to. I wanted to spend more time with him. I didn't think he wanted me to leave either. We spent an hour "leaving".

On the porch, we hugged and kissed goodbye. I think I am becoming less frightened that he will be someone who disappears from my life without so much as another thought. It is a wonderful evening. I like the way he pats my head. I like the way he holds me, tightly but with a pressure that says he is worried that he may snap me. I am happy thinking about it. He feels safe. He is easy to talk to, someone I'm comfortable around, and he feels safe. I'm smitten. I like him. I really like our time together.

I'm a fan of this one.