Stolen Moments of Peace

I call this my stolen moment of peace. I don't have work till 12:30pm today. I skipped volunteering, I skipped yoga. I stayed in bed till 10AM and even after, I slowly started my day. A homemade black Americano, toast with almond butter and bananas, slowing putting together my face. Maybe later I will pick up some sushi before heading into work. Maybe even a vegan donut.

I only work a part time job but these 30-something hours that can go from five in the morning till seven in the evening, seem to dictate everything in my life. Between these sporadic hours, I try to make yoga classes, see friends, and volunteer. My body is exhausted. My mind is exhausted. It seems like running around from spot to spot has become the norm now. There's no stop sign in sight.

A video I watch a few days ago calls this generation "hustlers" because we are constantly moving from place to place, job to job, one event to the next, trying to maximize what we can do with the hours we are given. We are working multiple jobs, adding in volunteer experience, trying to look our best, and maintaining a web of connections and relationships. The author of this video calls us "hustlers", but only because we are forced to be.

This past weekend, I meet with Richard. I haven't seen him since last November. We still talk but we stopped dating a while ago. I always had a problem with never seeing him enough. I'm not sure how many hours he logs into work per week. He works at home too. He's studying now for a finance exam in June. When we meet, he says he wants to travel more. He's taking August off to travel and then he wants to move. Maybe Asia or the US for work. Yesterday we're talking and he tells me there's maybe a 10% chance I will ever see him again. He always says he's too busy. I tell him he's wrong.

I always thought of myself as someone who can't sit still. I am a restless one, legs meant to run more than they are to be stable. I wonder if this is just true of me though, or if we are a generation forced to run. Constantly needing to move to survive, constantly hustling. This morning, I sit with myself in peace though.